F is for...Fort Myers

Florida, U.S.

Some trips or vacation spots just have natural soundtracks, songs that would be constantly playing in the background if your adventures were actually the plot of a major motion picture. In the case of Fort Myers, this soundtrack would be any hit by Jimmy Buffet.

Funnily enough, it’s said that his song “Cheeseburger in Paradise” was inspired by the local eatery, Cabbage Key Restaurant. There are few people in straw hats here but plenty of offensively complex Hawaiian print t-shirts. My Dad, sister and I stayed right on the beach which gave us gorgeous views of the sunset and put us within walking distance of Denny’s on the touristy strip behind our hotel.

My Dad was there on business leaving my sister and I somewhat stranded at and around the hotel when he was in meetings. One day, however, the group was nice enough to invite family along for an excursion to the Florida Everglades.

After riding Captain Bob’s Funmobile to the nearby park, we were given mammoth headphones to block out the deafening noise from the airboat’s fan. And then we were off.

We came to an abrupt stop about 30 seconds in and everyone looked around to see what the big deal was. Was there a rare bird? A crocodile? Had someone fallen in? None of the above. My Dad’s new baseball cap with “Florida” written on it in huge letters had flown off into the fan.

Once we recovered the precious headgear, we spent the next hour or so cruising through and over the waterways and apparently easily crushable plants of the Florida Everglades. The goal of course was to spot one of them crocodiles. We never thought it would be so difficult considering you’re always reading about them in Florida wandering into people’s backyards or eating burgers off the BBQ when people’s backs are turned. (I made up the burger thing but that would be CRAZY!)

We were feeling pretty deflated with only a few minutes left on the boat ride. Nothing. Not one reptile. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a wee little guy sitting in the bush. He was no more than 2 feet long and was flying solo but it was still amazing to see. Now, because of the headphones, you can’t communicate with anyone in the boat really so I didn’t say anything about the little guy and assumed my fellow croc-seekers had spotted him.

Back on land, I quickly learned from the disgruntled group that I had been the only one to actually see the crocodile. People who pay for excursions to see animals and don’t see them are not generally happy folk. My decision to calmly observe it for myself and assume others saw it too was not met warmly. “That girl saw one and she didn’t even say anything!” “Who does that?” Oops.

With that, the next track on my Fort Myers soundtrack faded in and it was none other than Jimmy Buffet’s own, “The A**hole Song.”